Monday, April 02, 2012

[Silence, Not Absence of Thoughts]

Good grief, I'm a slacker! Okay, well, technically, it's not slacking that's contributing to my inability to update the blog on a regular basis--I think it's more a combination of too much on my mind that's controversial that I don't want to get into a debate over, and a general lack of social interaction. I've been looking back over my blog (this one and an old one, from which I'm currently moving posts to this one, one at at time) from the Truman years. I never seemed to run out of things to say! There was always some personal drama or amusing CCF anecdote on which to report.

When it seems like just yesterday I moved into MO Hall, all I have to do is read my posts from that era, and then it seems a lifetime ago. I've changed, friendships I never thought would change... did... That Niki almost seems like another person.

The other issue, of course, is my brain. Since my wreck, I've had trouble finding words--often basic words. My memory and the struggle to remain on task has made everything more difficult: work (teaching and lecturing), grading, painting (the ability is still there--just not the focus needed to wrap a painting up over a couple days instead of a few weeks), and keeping my emotions in check. I'm a little better than I was, but I can still see a big difference between before the wreck and now. It's a little frustrating, and it's difficult to write, as a result, in any way that doesn't read as whining or griping.

Oh, and now the weather. It's unseasonably warm, and when I get hot, my blood pressure drops. And when my normal blood pressure is 90/60, well, a drop is very dramatic for me. This weekend was one of those weekends, and I just felt ridiculously lethargic and weak.

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