Wednesday, April 25, 2012

[A Student Again?]

I've been thinking about, weighing the pros and cons for, and studying the logistics for going back to school (likely MSU) to get a BFA in studio art and graphic design. I know I did the right thing when I dropped it as a major my freshman year because I was overwhelmed with the heavy workload (two studio art classes, an art seminar, an art history class, intermediate Spanish, and college algebra), my schedule (the previously mentioned classes, plus singing with Unique Ensemble gospel choir), adjusting to college life, and having too many studio art classes for my abilities at the time. It was the wrong time for me to focus on art then, and, in fact, my switch to creative writing taught me to examine the details first, whole picture later, which ultimately helped my art skills.

But I missed it and regretted it ever since. And now it's time. I may take a class this fall if I'm able to afford it, but I missed the FAFSA and scholarship application deadlines, so I wouldn't go back full-force (though still part-time) until next fall (unless, in the off chance I have money enough left over from my settlement (unlikely, considering all the doctors' bills I have to pay) to be able to pay tuition). Either this week or next week, I'm going to stop by MSU campus and discuss it with the registrar folks. I feel great deal of peace about this decision, though the financial side of it is a little intimidating.

But it's time. And I'm excited about it. Ever since my concussion, as I've mentioned before, my mind hasn't wanted to think as much in terms of words as much as with images. Perhaps it will open a door for me into a full-time graphic design position... or, if I have the opportunity to get an MFA, a chance to teach art at a university. One way or another, though, it can't hurt to have another degree or two, and possibly an internship could open up a door somewhere. I'm more confident in my artistic abilities now, anyway, as I've grown as an artist just within the past year since I started painting again. I'm good... not the best, but I am a good artist, and I think I'd be limiting myself if I didn't try to pursue it, since art is my first love, even before writing. And, if nothing else, it will help me build my portfolio and open up other mediums I can use with my freelance work.

I'm not asking you to, but if you'd like to help me financially in going back, you can always use my Google checkout to leave a donation. My goal is still to do any and all school without placing any further strain on my parents, financially or mentally (i.e. worrying about how I'll make ends meet), but I would like to jump right in this fall if I could. I feel up to it, especially since my new migraine preventative does seem to be making something of a difference. It's not dramatic yet, but I've actually had a couple of migraines that hit but didn't last more than a couple of hours, though normally if I get one, I'm stuck with it for a few days, even sometimes a few weeks. And since it's also an antidepressant, it seems to be keeping my anxiety in check (somewhat).

What do you think? I'm planning on doing this, but it's not set in stone. If it's too much of a financial burden for now, I'll end up sticking with my freelance work and independent experiments. I do hope it works out, though. I prefer to finish what I start if I can at all.

EDIT: I applied! It looks like I'll be starting in the fall, unless I run into financial hurdles I can't handle right now. And I added a link to my Google Checkout account both on the side bar and in this blog entry. Classes are going to cost around $600 for each three-hour course, unless I get scholarships/grants. So, it is there if you want to help me out a little. :)

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

[Too Stinkin' True!]

If you've wondered why I haven't posted much lately, it's a matter of both of this factor being all too true:

Saturday, April 14, 2012

[Nineteen Years]

This day never gets easier from year to year. I often wonder what you'd look like if you were still here, and if you would've regained your ability to walk yet. You were starting to get feeling back in your legs that spring. I wonder if I'd be the same person. I wonder what advice you would've given me, and if I'd have listened. I wonder what you'd think of my green kitchen and green bathroom accents, since you hated the color. I wonder what you would've thought of our two Sassies. I wonder if Mom really did see you fly through the house a few months after you passed--either way, you brought her some peace that night. I wonder why you didn't show yourself to me.

I wonder a lot of things that I'll never know. I do know one thing: I miss you more than I can express.

You heard the call and found it irresistible. I know you were in pain, and I know you were worn out. I do just wish I could've had a few more years with you, since I was just getting to know you as a person.

We listened to this one at your memorial service.

I love you, Mom.
Michelle Cox Miniea, July 6, 1966 - April 14, 1993

Saturday, April 07, 2012

[Easter and She Who I Miss Most]

I meant to go to Good Friday service this evening, but a much-needed nap won over when I slept for three hours straight. Easter is obviously an important holiday to me in my faith, but for me, a dark shadow looms on the whole season. In a week, it will have been nineteen years since I lost my mom.

I doesn't seem that long ago that I woke up one Easter morning to the phone ringing as the hospital called to tell us that she'd been moved to the ICU as she'd taken a sudden turn for the worse. That Wednesday, the 14th, she lost her battle with the infection. She was 26. I was nine.

In a way, it may be because I lost her before I had a chance to know her as a person, not just mom, that I haven't lost my faith amid my doubts, even as my faith has evolved. I can't deal with a reality in which I'd never see her again. It's why songs like these still move me to both grief and hope.

I miss you, Mom. I miss you so much.

I had more to say, but it's hard to translate the emotions into words.

Monday, April 02, 2012

[Bathroom Paint Update]

Silly me! I went to all this trouble to write out a blog post about my plans for my bathroom and guest room, and I failed to post photos of my updated bathroom... and I painted the thing well over a month ago! It's one of my better paint jobs so far, and it was fairly ambitious.

I hit up the clearance rack at Hobby Lobby and scored some adorable Irish/St. Patrick's Day trinkets, which fit quite nicely with my green color scheme (and also reflect on my Scottish ancestry through the use of argyle print... heh). The grey on the walls came out lighter than I wanted, but it works. It's definitely easier on my eyes than the beige with beige.

I've gotten into Pinterest lately (like oh-so-many others, I know), and I've tried out a few of the suggestions.

Mom and I tried the sweet potato veggie burgers with avocado when she stayed at my house last week, and for the two of us, it was a hit. I can definitely recommend it, and I'll eventually write about it on my Life After Lactose blog if you want to read more about our experience. They weren't quite as pretty, but they tasted lovely.

I also came across a suggestion for a cool activity for dogs to do on a hot day, and the past few days have been quite unseasonably warm. As such, I tried it out on Sassy yesterday:

I tweaked the recipe a little and froze watered down chicken broth, and threw a couple toys, an old bone, and a couple treats for her to try to retrieve. She got frustrated a few times (she's like a spoiled child sometimes--I want what I want and NOW!) and started whimpering and stressing, but a little encouragement ("No, no crying. You can do it... or wait until it melts. If you want it, you gotta do it yourself."), and she got to work. It kept her occupied and cool the rest of the day (in her new pool, since the other one turned brittle over the winter), and she slept well last night as a result.

Don't forget to keep an eye on my art blog... I've got four commissioned projects going now, in addition to my computer art, and I created a new title banner for the biz. I'm in the process of posting a progress update as I type this.

Until next time!