Monday, August 02, 2010

[Guest Blog by the Dog]

Hiya, humans! I'm Sassy, Niki's baby, and I'm filling in for her today.  She's had a bad bellyache for a couple days since she's newly lacnose--latcos--milk intolerant and thought a little cheese couldn't hurt her.  She says, Hey, it's cheese, and who can blame her for trying? I know I can't. For example, I'd try chocolate if I could, but no one will let me, probably for the same reason.  Anyway, she's still recovering her strength, so it's my turn to speak!

Today I want to talk abut my second-favorite place to visit: the dog park (click the link to find out about ours)! My favorite place, of course, is the lake... Lake?! I wanna go! Let's go! Oh, Niki says we'll be going tonight. I'll get back to my story now.

Anyway, Niki and I went to the park last night, but for a long time, we were the only ones there.  Generally, I don't mind that.  It's fun for me just to venture out a couple hundred yards, checking everyone's pee-mail, and then come charging back at my favorite person while she dodges out of the way because I'm not stopping for anything.  However, since Niki's belly still felt "raw," as she put it, she wasn't as much fun as normal, so I started to get hot and bored.

After awhile, some other puppies started to come, but I didn't recognize any of them.  I'm a little shy and skittish around my own kind, you see.  Niki thinks I might have been separated from my litter too early or something.  So anyway, since I didn't know these dogs, I threw my hackles up to prove to those strange dogs that I'm a big dog and can protect my Niki from them or die trying. She, as always, rolled her eyes at me and told me to just worry about guarding her from people, since she knows how to handle dogs, but I ignored her, leaned my back up against her, and kept a tense eye out. I know my role.  Nobody touches my girl, capisce?

Now, I may be shy around dogs I don't know, but I'm relentlessly ready to play with my park pals, and finally, two of my puppy buddies and my puppy crush did come: a doberman pup named Daisy (who, after a short romp, was more interested in her frisbee, though we did race each other a little bit), my crush Tank (a sexy boxer who doesn't know I'm alive, even though I lick his face and throw myself at him every time I see him), and a big chocolate lab with a curly tail called Penny.

Penny is definitely one of my favorite wrestling partners.  She's almost twice my weight, but she's slower and calmer, so we're pretty well-matched.  She plays like me, too; we mouth each other's ears and lips (her mom almost always has to give her a bath after we play, because she's covered in my slobber), and we run reallyreally fast at each other and away from each other.  Then she lays down (she tires faster than me, since I'm mixed with a herding breed and can go for hours) and I tackle her from above, trying to egg her into chasing me so more.  I do the same thing to Niki, but it just makes her mad because, "Dammit, dog, your paws are like sandpaper! Ow! My arms are still raw from last night when you did this!" and I'm relentless.

Last night, though, Penny kept getting distracted by this bird that was obviously mocking her outright. I don't know if you humans know this, but we dogs do: birds are jerks.  That's why I catch them in the backyard and rip out their entrails.  But this bird wasn't just trying to escape after annoying Penny.  No, this bird kept flying in figure-eights around the dog park while Penny chased it.  It would slow down if Penny fell behind, then zip on ahead when she caught up.  Our people kept laughing, but I knew how she felt.  I told her, Penny, wait for it to rest in a bush--then they're easy to catch. But she kept chasing it. I can't blame her--it did look delicious. Finally, I tried to distract her by running alongside her and nipping at her ears and knocking her off course.  Penny, I explained, it's pointless to chase this bird; besides, how much more fun is to just live in the moment and enjoy doing what you can--wrestle with me!  Eventually, the bird got tired and left, and once Penny got her second wind, we had one last romp before she left.

Well, next time, I'll tell you about the lake, but for now, Niki says she needs to pack, and I know that means I need to get wrapped up under her feet so she doesn't forget to take me too.

Bye, now!

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