Thursday, July 15, 2010

[The Partly Sunny Side of the Street]

Well, my mood is somewhat cheerier than yesterday.  For one thing, I did check with the IRS, and they've at least received my latest correspondence (unlike last time, when, in spite of its being certified and receiving post office confirmation, they claimed to have never gotten it).  I don't know if they'll consider it sufficient, but if they don't, I might just lose it. Maybe.  Mom probably will first.

And whole student thing, after thinking about it (and having a more positive experience yesterday), I'm more inclined to suspect that many of them from whom I felt "hostility" were probably thinking of the class and the work as an inconvenience.  Still annoying (since I'm not teaching out of desperation--I like my subject and what I do), but less threatening.  I can't help but wonder, though, if school is such an inconvenience, particularly college, why bother?  If your attitude is going to be negative, why not wait until you can appreciate what you're learning and the opportunities higher education will afford you?  Meh.  It's not like I can do much about their attitudes.  And really, it's not all of them, but sometimes it feels that way.  Maybe I'm too sensitive. :)

Oof... this dog of mine is in sore need of a trip to the groomer's.  Her "doggy" smell is getting distinct.

You know, I really do have some intelligent, thoughtful ideas floating around my brain somewhere, and eventually, they're going to see the light of day.  Right now, though, with the stress onslaught still going strong (even if it is finally decreasing), for the sake of sanity and preventing myself from becoming a full-on cynic, I need to rant a bit.  The good thing is that after this week, there are only two weeks left in the semester, and since midterm, I've been keeping up on entering in grades, so it should be a lot less hectic *knock on wood*. Perhaps upon finishing the summer semester and getting a new phone toy on August first, my mood will lighten and I'll have interesting, coherent thoughts to share with the world.  In the meantime, I'm using the storm clouds as fodder for creating my novel's character's trauma (unavoidable to put her in the right place), so this madness shouldn't be a complete waste. :)

See? There's always a bright side, especially when one is an artist or a writer.  Grief, stress, anger, etc., can all be powerful muses to create art with an impact.  After all, what's going to be more convincing: me writing a character under stress when my life is hunky-dory, or me writing a character under stress when I'm about to go mad myself?  You got it.  All things work together, right?

Yeah, I'm definitely in a sunnier place.  The clouds haven't disappeared yet, but I'm getting the shafts of light again.

Over and out.

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