...so do my fingers, come to think of it, but the brain takes clear precedence over stinging guitar fingers. I'm supposed to take a midterm and turn a paper in for Old English, but only one is going to happen at this point. I ran into a seemingly insurmountable wall in my research until very recently, and I'm just now getting to read through my materials. I've sent in a "please have mercy on me!" email for the paper, and I'm going to try to send it in by email by Saturday. I don't know what else to do, as I need sleep in addition to studying for the midterm. Why am I writing here/wasting valuable study/sleep time? Well, I need to vent or I may blow a gasket.
Why do I want to get a PhD, again? It wouldn't kill me to teach basic composition at community college... Sigh. Que sera, sera. Basically, my decision will come in January when I hear back from Mizzou and OSU. If both reject my applications, then I take it as a sign that I'm to go ahead and jump into a community college teaching position, for a few years anyway. If one or both accept me, then I'll tighten my belt and journey on, erstwhile hoping I don't turn gray before graduating. Ha. I am tired, though.
So wherever God wants me, I'm wide open. You may remember how hard I fought to go back to Truman for my master's degree, but that door slammed in my face (thank you crappy economy), and amidst all my resistance and nervous twitching, I eventually saw that Springfield really was where I was supposed to be. Yes, that's right, I actually got something to get through my thick, stubborn skull. So I'm open to what the future holds. All the same, I dread starting over again. I found my niche (faster than I did during my bachelor's degree and something I never did in high school), and I'm getting ready to leave it already. Hey, I love the notion of traveling, but I want a home. I want to be settled somewhere.
Oh, and I want a puppy. I miss Sassy like mad, and nothing suits that part of me like puppy love. Darned apartment dwelling.
Now: nap first, study second... or study first, nap second? I'm going to try the latter, but we'll see if that works out at all. Good night, kids.