I haven't posted in a little while because I haven't had anything I wanted to discuss that I felt comfortable sharing with the cyber world (and my buds). That, my friends, doesn't happen very often. Usually, I'm pretty open with my struggles because I believe in vulnerability, but with my current struggles, things could easily be taken incorrectly. That's hard for me.
One thing I do want to express is frustration with men. Yup, bitter single gal here. Why is it, I ask, that I suddenly find myself the target of many come-ons (seriously, not bragging here... this is not the type of attention I want) from all the wrong guys (strangers, creepy old guys, the guys only interested in my, um, curves...)? And why is it that, to my knowledge anyway, the right guys only see me as a sister-figure? Seriously.
I know it sounds completely junior-highish. It feels that way too. I just, argh. Okay, so in Hawaii, I got a lot of male attention (for me, that is). But it was pretty clear they weren't interested in me, per se, so much as a certain satisfaction. Yes, I'm trying to be delicate here. But the guys I would consider dating (guys I go to church with or school with that have the same faith) just keep on walking. I think my signals have gotten crossed. Or maybe I'm just being silly.
If you read this, you're a brave soul. The inner-workings of Niki on cold medicines and hormonal insanity are not a pretty or sensible sight. Yeah... Anyway, I spit some words out, so I think I've gotten a little off my chest.
Another day of school awaits! G'night!