Saturday, November 24, 2007

[Tumultuous Tumble of Thoughts]

Well, first of all, I should've been asleep two hours ago, but how often do I really end up going to bed when I intend to? It's a rare occurrence, to be sure. Well, I've been home since Tuesday, and while I have finished nowhere near the amount of schoolwork I meant to finish, under the circumstances, I feel I've done pretty well.

What are said circumstances? Well, first off, I'm sick again. Yes, I know I just got over that sinus infection, but probably within two days of being able to breathe again, the crud pretty much transferred itself into my upper chest. Now I've got a sore throat, almost no voice, and a nagging cough keeping me from relaxing. Actually, this all feels like a mild version of the virus I had back in March when I thought I had pneumonia. Yippee.

Also, we've had a full house since yesterday. Aunts, uncles, small-children-type cousins, and family friends have kept the activity levels way up above the level to which I'm accustomed, and the two little kids are very energetic. I didn't get anything accomplished yesterday OR today.

I'm heading back to my apartment tomorrow, though, so I'm hoping to at least get through one paper and my smaller assignments that are due on Monday and Tuesday. Here's hoping, anyway. Really, the way I feel, all I want to do is sleep (which I'm well aware is the best thing for what I have), but with only two weeks left in the semester, I can't afford the time. I just have too much I need to finish in the next two weeks.

Confession time: as much as I get sick (and I'm honestly sick when I say I am--I'm not a hypochondriac, and my symptoms are very tangible), I hate admitting to it. I feel like I'm making--no, I feel like I sound like I'm making excuses for myself, like I'm too lazy to do the things I need to do, so I make up reasons for having low energy, not going to a class, or not getting an assignment finished by the due date. But that is not the case. I seem to just be one of those people with "weak constitutions," like they called that sort of existence back in the day, where I just have a low limit on how much I can push myself before my body gives out. I hate it, and I wish I knew the reason. My guess, obviously, is all the surgeries my body has undergone; perhaps they've just taken a toll on my body's ability to handle steady strain. I don't know. It does frustrate me though.

Okay, I'm going to bed now. I think I've gotten some of the jumble out of my head and into words, and maybe now my brain will let me sleep. Good night all!

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