Overall, I tend to be a relatively upbeat person. I get into the occasional moody funk, especially around that certain time of the month, but I can always find joy and laughter in life. At times, though, life reminds me that I have been so extremely blessed to be exposed to Christ at such an early age. No matter the pain, I have always been able to rest in His arms and cry my pain away, receiving peace in the place of passionate anger and sorrow. I have known for as long as I can remember that He understands and shares in my pain even better than I do myself.
But at times, I remember that so many in the world do not have that sanctuary. So many find temporary peace in self-destruction that helps them numb the pain and fear. Some cling to food, some to drugs or nicotine, some to sex, some to alcohol, some to on-the-edge living, and some to carving their arms with knives. As their worlds crumble around them, they cling to any relief. Unbeknownst to them, someone knows and His heart breaks. He knows that if they would turn to Him, He could start them on the road to recovery and joy.
One song I heard on the radio recently has a chorus:
Lord though I walk through the valley of death
I'm not scared 'cuz I know you're holding my breath
I only fear that I don't have enough time left
To tell the world that there's no time left
Not to get into end-times philosophies, though I've spent some time pondering that doctrine on my own, but I think this chorus has more to do with the reality that life is so unpredictable. Life could end at any time. Furthermore, for those who experience that hardcore pain and depression, time may be further limited. How long before these habits of relief go too far? How long before it's too late to reach out and let them know they are loved... by God and by those who love God?
When I stop and consider the agonies people experience, I can hardly bear it. It breaks me down and shatters my heart. My love for these people, though strong and pure, is a mere shadow of God's love, and I can only imagine what He feels knowing their situations. He wants to heal and restore, not condemn.
Between the Trees, "The Way She Feels"
Heads for the dresser drawer to
drive her pain away
Nothing good can come of this.
She opens it, there's nothing, there
is only left over tears
"Mom and dad had no right" she screams
as the anger runs down both of her cheeks.
Then she closed her eyes
and found relief in a knife
the blood flows as she cries
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Bite the lip just forget the bleeding
Curled up she's on the floor
relief left her, she had hoped for something more
He leans down to comfort her
She is weeping and he
wraps his arms around
and around and around and...
The deeper you cut
the deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut
it only gets worse
Now she's slowly opening...
Then she opened her eyes
and found relief through His life
and put down her knives
Then she opened her life
and found relief through His eyes
and put down
she put down her life
The video for this song really makes it hit home. I just want to hug these hurting people and let them know they are loved... so loved.