Sunday, December 31, 2006

[With Subtitles]

I discovered my first real wrinkle. The pesky little crease is nestled about a half an inch below my hairline, and it gets more pronounced during a migraine--thus explaining my main suspect. Before, it was a crease. Now, however, it truly qualifies as a wrinkle.

Next on the news list, Mommie-deare--er, Mom, rather, is on the rampage tonight. She apparently woke prematurely from a nap, and everything is setting her off tonight. Thus I now am hiding out in my room the rest of the night. Happy-freakin'-New-Year!

Which brings me to my one and only (though two-part) New Year's resolution: get a job and get out of the freakin' house! Failure to achieve this goal might just culminated in my admission to the funny farm. For life. My parents: amazing people, impossible for me to live with anymore. Besides the peevishness, I am not appreciative of feeling as though I have to justify every word, every purchase, and every thought to my parents, especially since I haven't been having to do that for so long. Le sigh.

On a positive note, I watched Pride and Prejudice both in French and Spanish two nights ago. Fabulous, and I think doing stuff like this will help keep my foreign language skills semi-brushed-up.

Brief update... Mom's mood's improved. The just-woken-up crankiness must have worn off.

Michelle and I are such nerds. We're chatting online (while living 10 miles apart), reading our old archived IM conversations from almost 2 years ago. We are such special children.

Anyway, that's all I've got. My creativity's kind of lacking lately.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

[Tumors and Cysts]

I suppose I ought to write an update. After all, much has happened in the past week. [Warning: the following may be too much information for some of you, but it's relevant to my update] Wednesday, I went in to ask the doctor to put me back on the pill. My period's been really crazy lately, and that's why I'd gone on it in the first place... not to mention the killer cramps (see several previous posts on that note). What should've been simple ended up sending me to the hospital the next day for an ultrasound. In his examination, my doctor found that my right ovary was swollen and had growths building on it--less than a year ago, my examination came back completely normal.

Thursday, I had the great pleasure of waking up at 6:15 a.m. to inhale 32 ounces of soda before my test at 7:30. I sat for half an hour in the waiting room, my bladder hating me, and finally they took me in. My poooooor bladder.

The next day, the doctor's office called. They recommended that I get in to see a specialist as soon as possible. I have several cysts on my right ovary, one of which, due to the fact that it's filled with both fluid and solid parts, appears to be either infectious or neoplasmic. For those of you unaware, neoplasm is another way of referring to a tumor, either benign or malignant. Either way, it's gotta come out (possibly with my ovary) because of its increasing size.

I have an OB/GYN appointment on January 3, and if I need surgery (which I seem to at this point), I'll be going in the next day.

Anyway, that's what's been going on lately, and it explains why I've been feeling like crap all semester. In spite of the negativity involved in the diagnosis, it's kind of comforting to know that all my exhaustion, restlessness, moodiness, cramps, etc. was not all in my head or due to personal physical weakness. I have something going on in there, and by simple cause-and-effect, it's affecting everything else.

Moral of the story: Ladies, PLEASE do not neglect your yearly PAP smear... this is a very sneaky thing and more common than you may think.

Prayer is greatly appreciated (though I'm not really scared or anything yet). Anyway, now you know.

Peace out, yo.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

[The End of All Things (Collegiate)]

Well, it happened. Tonight, I spoke at CCF Senior Night, just like I watched dozens of seniors do over the past seven semesters (I wasn't a CCFer my first year). Tonight was my turn. It was beautiful, traumatizing, emotional, delightful, heartbreaking, and frankly, exhausting. I hate hate hate good-byes. I know they're inevitable, and I can't expect to stay in the same place forever. It's just hard to watch this part of my life, which was both fabulous and extremely difficult, come to an end. Le sigh.

Mom and Dad are here. I've missed them, very much, though I'm not looking forward to moving home. I've become so used to almost complete autonomy that I don't know what I'm going to do for the next several months. I want a job, and not in Branson. Please.

I think I'm going to put off writing any more for awhile, until I've had a few days to process all these events and emotions. Right now it's just a rush of chaos with very little logic. When I'm back to semi-sanity, I'll be back here. Peace, love, and good-bye my dear Kirksville!!!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

[Creepy Venders and Procrastination]

I'm so ashamed. I need to write something like 10-15 pages by tomorrow at 9:30, and I'm sitting here procrastinating. *Sigh* Dang senioritis.

So the girls (Andrea, Sunshine, Kate) and I went to Columbia yesterday for some graduation dress shopping. Kate and Sunny found some lovely things... picky Andrea and Niki found nada. Well, I shouldn't say nothing, since I did find two pretty freakin' cool scarves for seven bucks apiece. Boo-yah. Ooh, and we were spooked by this creepy guy who was working the calendar booth in the mall. Andrea and I were walking back, and he comes behind us and says, in this unctuous voice, "Hey laaaadieees, would you like a free calendar for your purses?" He would not be deterred, so we took it, walked away very quickly, and threw the calendars away in perfect unison. *Shudder* It was way creepier in person than it sounds on paper.

Ok, I must stop typing this now. I am hoping to sleep sometime tonight, and procrastinating my final exam questions is not helping my case at all.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

[I Think I Can]

Chug-a-chug-a-chug-I-think-I-can-I-hope-I-can-I-pray-I-can-sur-vive-this-week-and-next-week-a-chug-a-chug-one-day-at-a-time-step-by-step-a-chug-a-chug...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

[Inevitable Nervous Breakdown]

Yesterday afternoon, I sensed its approach. Actually, if I had been truly tuned in, I would have felt its presence the night before when I couldn't sleep until nigh on three a.m. But I definitely sensed impending doom yesterday afternoon when the twitching began.

Some time after lunch, the muscle in my nose closest to my left eye started to twitch once or twice per minute. In Hebrew Scriptures class, the twitching upgraded to several jerks each minute. The last time my tick appeared was shortly after the CCF van accident, when I was feeling rather traumatized and was unable to express my reaction.

Sure enough, last night around 10:30, the nausea came. Then, the tightening in my chest. By 11:45, I was on Yahoo IM bawling my eyes out to Michelle. Thank You, Lord, for Michelle. After 30-45 minutes of an anxiety attack, I calmed down. I managed to fall asleep.

I really need to get through these next two weeks, and quickly. I have more coming at me right now than my emotions can handle.

And I don't like the twitch. It makes my nose tingly.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

[I'm Nuts]

Well, I am now officially insane. It's 1:30 in the morning, I have to be up in seven hours, I spent about five or six hours doing some hardcore studying for Hebrew Scriptures, and I'm still awake. Crazy, I tell ya!

Ladies and gentlemen, I will graduate from college in eleven days. That is sooooo creepy. I'll be sprouting grey hairs before I know it.

Alright, here's the grad-prep checklist as it currently stands:

Completed:
LSP Portfolio
All fees paid
Cap and gown purchased
Announcements purchased and mailed
Senior Capstone presentation given
Art History term paper turned in
All clearance signatures received

In progress:
BA Portfolio
Senior Capstone paper

To be accomplished:
Finals
CCF Senior Night
Graduate
Pack
Move home

It's really happening.

Ok, I know I had more to say than this earlier. Oh, well. I'll just bore you another time.