Wednesday, May 03, 2006
[Is the room supposed to be spinning?]
Being sick frustrates me. Whenever I choose to stay home because I feel like crap, I get this nagging feeling that I'm just making up an excuse, that I'm being a wuss.
I tried to go to church tonight. I got there, and at first, I was ok. But a couple minutes after I sat down, I was slightly shaking. I decided I would leave after greeting time (because I know people have been wondering about my absences). So, to allow others to have my seat, I got up and stood in the back. Soon, I was sweating, my heart wouldn't stop racing, and I was breathing hard. As greeting time wrapped up, I shuffled to my car and went home. I even had a hard time trying to get my car to go faster than 20 mph. I came home and basically collapsed into bed.
Do you know what I wish? I wish I could lay in bed when I'm sick like this, just lay here and rest, without hearing some voice in my head tell me I should be getting something done. I feel guilty for being sick! How ridiculous is that? Why should I feel bad when I try to do some homework and my head starts to spin?
It's frustrating. I need the rest, because though I'm doing better, I'm not nearly well yet.