Sunday, May 21, 2006

[Sincerity]

I think that one of the things that people learn to do as their faith grows more genuine and less "churchy" is to ask the questions that seem wrong. These are the questions that eat at our hearts and we try to stifle because they seem doubtful. We feel like if we ask these questions then we don't really have faith. But here's the thing... faith isn't about blind acceptance. It's about being at rock bottom with nothing left to give, no reason to believe, ACKNOWLEDGING our limitations, asking those questions TO GOD, those questions that express our anger and frustration, and then believing because there is no way not to believe. I honestly believe that it is a sign that we are being real in our faith when we go before Him and say (when we honestly feel this way), "Lord, I don't get this. I hate this, and I don't understand why you would let me (or that person) go through this crap. I don't want to deal with it! Lord, I want to understand, and Lord, I don't like this. I don't want to deal with it. Nevertheless, I'll trust You (even though, to be honest, I'm a bit miffed) because You do see the whole situation. And really, I can't do anymore than this... I'm at the end of my resources."

I love this David Crowder song... I need to get the album, or at least download the single.

Lord, I'm tired, so tired from walking
And Lord, I'm so alone
And Lord, the dark is creeping in, creeping up to swallow me
I think I'll stop, rest here a while
This is all that I can say right now and
This is all that I can give

And didn't You see me crying
And didn't You hear me call Your name
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to
I wish You'd remember where You sat it down

I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that that was You holding me
I didn't notice You were crying too
I didn't know that that was You washing my feet

1 comment:

Sarah said...

It seems like it's been months since you've posted, but it's only been 5 days... Weird.