Monday, December 05, 2005

Imported from Xanga

I'm seriously sooooooo frustrated with school right now... well, school+me.  The more stuff I have due, the lesser my capacity to sit my butt down and do the crap.  I just found out that I have to give a presentation over one of my term papers tomorrow, rather than later in the week, and I don't have it anywhere near finished.  Plus, I need to have a rough draft of another term paper by morning so I can have a friend peer edit it.  Oh, and I have a French assignment and an astronomy quiz and extra credit assignment due.  Most of this was not originally on the agenda for tomorrow.  And here I sit, xanga being the most coherent thoughts I can seem to string together, and the closer I get to morning, the more I just want to fill my car up with gasoline and drive off into the night without looking back.  I'd even just go in my jammies as I am at this point.

This semester, I'll be honest, has been horrific.  Granted, I've got the best housemates in the freakin' world, and each day brings me a little closer to getting to go do what God wants me to do (yay missions!)... but academically, I've never struggled so much or felt so miserably stressed out.  And yes, I am aware that I ought to let go and let God.  Duh.  Trust me, old news here.  But when it gets to the point where every day I have class, I have all my classes and all my assignments due at the same time, I suddenly feel like I can't breathe.  And that my friends, is where I am right now.  For real, if it weren't for mom and dad counting on me graduating soooooo much... I'd be gone.  I love you all so much, and truly, my friendships with you are what keep me sane.  But I really feel like I'm at breaking point.  I can't see myself even pulling off a C in astronomy at this point, and I still can't seem to focus on Medieval literature enough to write a speech that includes researched information.  She did say she'd be lenient due to the short notice, but at this rate, I'll have to be hoping for a miracle.

To sum this up:

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