Last night, all I could think was, "I can never be the same again" and "I'm am so so so sorry..." Nothing I do, no life I live could ever be worthy of what He did for me. My nose is raw from crying, and when I got out of there, I was so emotionally spent that I was physically exhausted. Thinking about what I saw now makes my eyes well up with tears. I was saved before, and I've rededicated my life before, but never like this... Oh, never have I imagined... oh. Oh... Oh.... I just can't express it. I can't tell you how many times last night I just had to grab on to a wall or something to remain upright as the knowledge of what He did for me coursed through me. And I watched every moment. He gave me the strength not to avert my eyes. But it was hard.
I can never be the same person again. I just can't. This movie completely redefined "bought with a price" for me. My life is not my own. It can't be. It can't. That should have been me, but He took it for me. I can no longer justify my own sins. Oh, my heart.
Hosanna Adonai... Yeshua Ha'Mashiach. Jehovah Jireh, El Shaddai. Hosanna! Hosanna!