Sunday, October 05, 2003

[Hurting]

Lord, I miss my Momma. It's been over 10 years now, and I think I miss her more with every year that passes. I miss being able to talk to her, to ask her what she felt when or what she went through when. God, I need to let her go, but I keep wanting to have her here with me, physically. Lord, I know she's so much happier with You, and I accept that. I just miss her so much! I miss that she wasn't there to hug me after graduation. I miss that she isn't going to be there, physically, at my wedding. I miss being able to hug her, to hold her hand. God, I understand she's much happier now, but it hurts so much sometimes. Like right now, for example. I miss that I didn't get to have her with me all through my adolescence, and I'm not going to have her throughout my entire adulthood. I miss that I didn't get to really know her. Help me, please. Help me let go. God I thank you for the wonderful parents you gave me in her place, but You know as well as I do that nothing can really take that place, to really fill that void. Help me, but don't let me forget, because I'm beginning to forget. I was so young, and so much time has passed. I can handle the pain of missing her, just as long as I don't forget. Please...

God, I thank You and I praise You for You are my Prince of Peace and Everlasting Father.

In the Name of Yeshua Ha'Mashiach,
Amen.

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