Saturday, October 18, 2003

[And Back Up I Go]

Sometimes I wonder why I bother to post... As far as I know, no one ever reads these... but it does help me get stuff off my chest better than in an ordinary journal. Anywho...

Well, my campus fever has gone down a few notches, so I'm kind of relieved. Unique Ensemble (the gospel choir I sing in up here at school) has its big fall concert tomorrow, so I'm getting pretty excited. I'm still looking for a camera person, but I'm sure I'll be fine. We have some really awesome songs this semester, songs that make you think.

Last night I saw Pirates of the Caribbean (my all-time favorite movie!) for the fifth and sixth times, because campus had a free viewing at 6:30 and 9:00. So, to make life a little more interesting, I dressed up as a pirate. I didn't get any pics, but it's my Halloween costume, so I'll get some pics and post them in my album soon, in early November.

Oh, and update on "Battle of the Shy"... Let's see, I now have my parents, my roommates, and some of my closest friends really getting on my case about spilling my guts... or, they threaten, they're going to do it themselves. Scary thought... but there is just no way. They're trying to convince me that the evidence is too strong that he (no, I'm not going to tell you who :P) likes me, but I've been hurt too many times to just lay my heart on the line... especially in this case. I consider him to be good friend, so I'm afraid to jeopardize that friendship, and besides... this one just "feels" different... it's hard to put in words. Argh... if he does like me, I hope and pray he'll be brave enough to say something... my courage in that particular area is spent. :P I want to be brave enough to say something, but it's just not going to happen. I can't. There's no real "reason" why I'm such a wuss about it, I'm just shy, and I despise that shyness. It's not to say I haven't come a long way... in fact, the fact that I even talk to the guy (and I do! I really do! Actual conversation! I'm so proud of myself...) is evidence of just how far I've come in the last couple of years. But I still have so far left to go. *sigh*

Here's song for you to ponder over:

We bow our hearts, we bend our knees
Oh Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes from evil things
Oh Lord we cast down our idols

Give us clean hands!
Give us pure hearts!
Let us not lift our souls to another.

Oh God, let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face, Oh God of Jacob!

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